I hated the thought of not knowing where I was going and what the future would bring.
The last days of 2016 come with another beautiful lesson; I consider it to figure amongst the most valuable ones: letting life do its job.
In my last entry (click here) I mentioned that we gain understanding about our paths mostly through retrospective. I used the image of connecting dots to see the resulting picture. Wanting to control will make the lines look forced; insouciance and confidence however will render the plainest picture interesting. "It's a dull image but look at those nonchalant contours".
Either way, we're undertaking a journey being blindfolded. The question is, are we courageous enough to hit the fast lane anyways or do we take tiny steps apprehending danger at every corner?
On a side note, I discovered one has to truly learn to give and expect nothing in return. Nothing in return. At all. Really. And that is, it seems, the only way you can be above the obsession of control. Because no matter what comes your way, when you have no expectations you will welcome just about ANYTHING with an open mind.
I wrote this two days ago and I'm reading it again now. I'm really good at giving advice, perhaps I should follow it from time to time? But joking aside. I realise that getting rid of old habits doesn't happen over night; it's a discipline. It's reminding myself constantly that I want to change something. It's making the same mistake again and correcting it. Again and again. Until one day it becomes part of me.
Life is what happens while we try to make plans. And in all honesty, I'm not sure I could have written a better scenario for mine than it did for itself.