Monday, August 4, 2014

From Paris with Love

Yesterday I got this message from a photographer :

“I see that you have not given up on modeling As you can see I never made it to Paris, either. If I had, you would have known about, because I would've begged you for a shoot.
I believe soon after I talked with you that I really started shooting with a passion. I have turned my kitchen into a studio in an effort to get better with off camera lighting. I have two more shoots lined up with no fixed dates yet, and another one is in the works.”

Let’s backtrack….

He first contacted me about a year ago, at a point when I was putting a big question mark over my modelling endeavours. I believe this is quite a common phenomenon in the fields of art though: a mix of fear, insecurity and self-doubt occurring after misfortune of greater or lesser degree.


The answer would seemingly be ‘yes’… however…

Today (a year later that is) and in the light of some rather unexpected life-changing events I dare say the answer could lie somewhere else. Reading this photographer’s message was touching because it threw me back right into who I was a year ago. I saw myself confronted with my own frailty – just like reading one’s diary from highschool.

Now, the thing that has changed is me. It is not how my career went or what life, as they say, ‘threw at me’. Because really, it’s what I decide to throw at myself that can influence my feelings about things. I think one of the lessons of adulthood I learned the hard way was: BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. If you treat yourself like shit everyone else will, too.

I had to be kicked back onto planet reality to realise I had lost faith in being able to control my environment. Instead, it was controlling me and I was but a little leaf on the mercy of the mighty, scary blowing wind. To control life I saw I needed to let loose of wanting to control it. Some things just happen, and sometimes it sucks. The only thing I can control is me and it also happens to be the only thing I can be sure of.

One of the best investments I made was giving love to myself; and from there on grew my love for others and my appreciation for my environment. Good things started happening simply because I nurtured my passions, and because I became a priority to myself.

The second part of the aforementioned message was the most rewarding thing someone could say. The photographer felt inspired to get moving and actually get more involved in his favourite activity…

WE. CREATE. our own HAPPINESS. It takes motion and love. I wish it to you.