After a long break the first words are always the hardest. Where were you, why haven't you given a sign of life.....
It seems like there's a million reasons when really it's one thing: I just didn't feel like it. Lack of time is rarely a good excuse I find, because just like the old saying goes 'where there's a will there's a way'.
The past 12 months have been challenging for two reasons: I took up music school and I was working a lot with 1 fitting client in particular. I gave up the latter and this allows me to reflect on past, present and future.
I have been modelling full-time for about 4 years now. I'm looking forward to some of the coming gigs: a show in Moscow, one in Rome, meeting a new agency in Berlin and then, very exciting, 2 days on set for the film on Yves Saint Laurent. I especially love how the last one merges from 'being a model' into some acting. And obviously I _love_ YSL - who doesn't??
But these years have also been hard, at times, either because of way more work than I could handle or because of guilt trips on how I haven't been working enough this month etc. It isn't a job for the faint of heart and even balls of steel aren't a guarantee of walking out harm-free. I know I'm not the only one with a funny attitude towards food and I don't know many non-models who's physique has been critisised as much as mine or any of my friends from the business. Just that fitting client alone would tell me at least 1x a day my shoulders were too wide. That's 240 times in a year. Not to mention waist too thin, arms too long, height and whatnot. Nuff said.
Staying positive is great. Best thing ever. Can't get enough of it. But what do you do with the accumulation of 'bleaaaargh'?
I'm glad I'm able to do this profession and at this point I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I'm happy I have my music which has proven to be a good hide-away so far. In the meantime I'll be looking forward to many more unforeseen adventures and hope the weather will get better here in cold and rainy Paris!